


Dancing on my Own

by Happy45



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28032573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Happy45/pseuds/Happy45
Summary: “Do we have to talk about it?” Sylvie asked with a quiet gulp.Stella shook her head, “We don’t have to talk about anything. I just don’t want you to be alone right now.”Sylvie’s lip quivered and she looked down, launching Stella into action. She put the wine and ice-cream back in her bag and stepped forward, engulfing her friend in a hug. Sylvie allowed a few stray tears to fall. She hadn’t realised that this was exactly what she needed until right now.Post 9x02
Relationships: Stella Kidd & Sylvie Brett, Sylvie Brett/Matthew Casey
Comments: 27
Kudos: 129





	Dancing on my Own

**Author's Note:**

> I watched a sad YouTube video about Sylvie at the end of 9x02 and I needed to write a fic. She needs some serious girl time and just the opportunity to put her emotions first - cue Stella!
> 
> It's a sad one... I hope you enjoy it!

**Dancing on my Own**

Sylvie didn’t like to wallow. At least not for long. She always found a way to pick herself back up from a setback and move forward. But this? This felt different. She wasn’t sure that one evening on her couch with a bottle of wine and HGTV was going to cut it. For starters – she didn’t even want to _look_ at her couch let alone sit on it.

It had been an hour since his words cut through her like a knife. It wasn’t anything she didn’t already know, but he’d given her a glimmer of hope that maybe, just _maybe_ , she was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t still in love with Gabby. When he kissed her back all her fears fell away. It felt like _the_ kiss, the _right_ kiss. The way she perfectly fit in his arms, the way they moulded together like it was the most natural thing in the world – it was like they were made for each other. They’d pulled away from each other’s lips briefly on the sofa, their noses still tenderly grazing. The thought even crossed her mind that this could be her last first kiss – and it was the most peaceful feeling she’d ever felt.

Yet, despite how right it felt, her brain told her to be _smart_ about this. She knew she shouldn’t let this go to a place she couldn’t come back from. She knew she had to ask. She’d never been a priority for the people she loved, and she couldn’t do that again.

She was glad she asked. She didn’t get the answer she wanted, but it was better in the long run that she knew before she poured her heart out to him at a later date, only to have him throw it back in her face. As glad as she was, her heart was still thumping in her chest – mainly because she felt like a _fool_ for going there in the first place. She should have known better.

When he left it took her all of 30 seconds to get her tears under control. She wasn’t going to do this, she needed to pull herself together. She changed into her pyjamas, hoping that she could just sleep the upset away. Maybe things would look brighter in the morning.

As she pulled the covers off her bed, there was a sudden and urgent knock on the door. She frowned and stayed where she was. She really did _not_ want to answer it. It was probably Casey coming back to say that he was sorry – but she didn’t want to hear it. She never wanted to hear him say he was in love with Gabby again. The knife didn’t need to be twisted in any further.

Sylvie stopped herself – he didn’t say that he was in love with her though, _did he?_

Sylvie shook the thought out of head as the knock sounded again. She could read the look all over his face and he didn’t exactly deny it, did he?

 _“Brett!”_ she heard through the front door as the knock came again.

That wasn’t Casey. That was –

“It’s Stella, I know you’re home your car is out front, I’ve got _nothing_ but time so I can keep pounding on this door till you answer.”

Sylvie knew she was telling the truth. Stella was stubborn – she would knock on that door all night if she had to. Sylvie sulked through the living room and slowly opened the door, revealing a concerned looking Stella.

“Hi” Sylvie said quietly as she bit her lip to stop her tears from starting again. A hug from her best friend was definitely needed right now, but she’d already told herself that the tears had to stop.

 _“Hi”_ Stella replied as she reached into her bag and pulled out a bottle of wine and a tub of ice cream. “Casey came home looking like someone had shot his dog. I’ve known him for a long time and I’ve never seen him look like that before – I figured you might be in a similar position.”

“Do we have to talk about it?” Sylvie asked with a quiet gulp.

Stella shook her head, “We don’t have to talk about anything. I just don’t want you to be alone right now.”

Sylvie’s lip quivered and she looked down, launching Stella into action. She put the wine and ice-cream back in her bag and stepped forward, engulfing her friend in a hug. Sylvie allowed a few stray tears to fall. She hadn’t realised that this was exactly what she needed until right now.

Stella pulled away from the hug, keeping her arm firmly wrapped around’s Brett’s shoulders as she closed the door and walked further into the apartment. They didn’t get very far before Sylvie stumbled over something on the floor. They looked down and saw a coat lying at Sylvie’s feet – Casey’s coat to be exact.

Sylvie bent down and picked it up, holding it tightly in her hands for a moment. Stella was about to reach out and take it off her and say she’d return it to the Captain later, but Sylvie blurted out the unexpected before she could.

“I kissed him.”

Stella had a feeling her friend wouldn’t be able to keep what happened a secret. She’d never been good with secrets, this situation shouldn’t have been any different (and she wasn't _that_ surprised by her confession - she _was_ surprised it hadn't happened _sooner_ in all honesty.) 

Sylvie’s eyes remained fixed on the coat as the earlier events flashed through her mind. “I kissed him, and he kissed me back and then – then he was gone.” Sylvie sighed as she hung the coat on the rack, trying not to be distracted by the fact that his coat looked like it had always belonged right there beside hers. “I’m such an _idiot._ ” Sylvie grumbled as she moved further into the apartment. Stella watched her as she moved towards the couch but stopped herself suddenly before settling on the armchair beside it. What the _hell_ had happened tonight that she couldn't even sit on her _couch_?

Stella set her things by the door before walking towards her and grabbing her hand, pulling her off the armchair.

“That armchair does not look _nearly_ comfortable enough for a girl talk. Get into bed, I’ll get the wine glasses and the spoons.” Stella said as she pushed Sylvie towards the bedroom.

“Yes ma’am…” Sylvie joked, knowing better than to disobey Stella’s orders.

Soon enough, Stella and Sylvie were snuggled into Sylvie’s incredibly comfortable bed. Stella made a mental note to tell Severide they needed to change their mattress – this was to _die_ for. They took a minute to get comfortable and to dig into their ice cream before Stella tried to get to the bottom of this situation.

“So… you kissed him, he kissed you back and then he was gone.” Stella said, repeating Sylvie’s words to her. “I think I’m going to need you to fill in some gaps for me.”

Sylvie sighed and set her spoon down, running her finger over the rim of her wine glass. “It’s my fault really. I sprung that kiss on him when I knew how he really felt and it was stupid of me—”

“Brett, stop.” Stella interrupted as Sylvie frowned and looked at her friend.

“You said you wanted me to fill in the gaps—”

“Yeah, I want you to fill in the gaps _without_ feeling the need to blame yourself. You don’t have to do that.” Stella made clear. It was in Sylvie's nature to deflect onto herself, and she wasn't going to let her do it this time.

“ _Fine_ ” Sylvie said resolutely as she sat up straighter to give Stella a matter-of-fact rendition of the story – _then_ she could prove to Stella that she was right to blame herself. “We were kissing, and I stopped and asked if Gabby came back and asked him to leave with her, would he go and he said ‘I don’t know’. I then said that it was obvious he was still in love with Gabby and I should have known better – hence the blame – and he said ‘it’s more complicated than that’ when it really isn’t. _Now_ can we get back to blaming me?” she explained quickly.

Stella paused and pursed her lips. Sylvie was clearly going through a whirlwind of emotions right now. It was rare for her friend to be frustrated like this. She thought carefully about how she wanted to proceed. Casey’s words confused the _hell_ out of her. She’d seen the way he looked at her, how he spoke to her, what he did for her – Casey was a man of few words, but his actions spoke _volumes_. As far as Stella was concerned, the man was totally _smitten_ with Brett.

Despite what she thought she knew, Stella quickly realised that wasn’t what Sylvie needed to hear right now. What Sylvie needed was for someone to hear _her_ feelings. She needed to be heard, she needed to be someone’s priority.

“No, we’re not going to blame you. You’re entitled to your emotions just as much as Casey is.” Stella said as she shook her head. “Put Casey’s feelings aside and put yours first.”

“That’s exactly what I did tonight. From the moment I kissed him to the moment I asked him to leave.” Sylvie said quietly. “He just kept _doing_ things for me. Things he didn’t have to – or even _shouldn’t_ have done. He smuggled a cat into the hospital with me, he drove me to Rockford only to have to turn straight back around when we got there, he showed up at the hospital with Julie died. He was always right there by my side.”

Stella smiled softly, “It’s always been him.” She said, repeating Sylvie’s own words to Matt back to her.

Sylvie nodded, “Yeah. It has. And then he jumped out of a moving fire truck to get to me – which was _stupidly_ reckless by the way and when we become friends again, we are having _serious_ words about that.” She made clear as Stella smirked amusedly. She _was_ wondering how Sylvie felt about that...

Sylvie sighed as her face softened, “But he _jumped out of a_ _moving fire truck for me_.” She repeated. “And I just – I reacted. I reacted to it _all_. How could I _not_?” she said with a scoff. “And he reacted too and I realised it wasn’t all in my head and then…” she said as she trailed off her sentence. She didn’t want to say it again. Stella didn’t want her to have to say it again either, so she just rested her hand on her friend’s wrist to let her know that it was ok.

“I haven’t been very good at putting myself first. I let people walk all over me when I shouldn’t have – and I didn’t this time and I’m proud of myself for it.” Sylvie made clear as she set her glass down and snuggled further into the bed, resting her hands under her cheek as she lay on her side facing Stella. “but that little flutter I get in my chest every time I think about him is something I never wanted to hurt – but now it does.” She confessed as a stray tear ran down on her cheek.

Stella took a deep breath as Sylvie’s heartache washed over her. Sylvie had the kind of personality that was contagious, especially to those closest to her. Stella often found herself sharing in Sylvie’s joy and her distress. Her sincerity and honesty in this moment ripped through Stella in a way she didn’t expect. It was a moment of rare vulnerability with a friend – and Sylvie didn’t get many of those because she was too busy focusing on others. Stella was so grateful that Sylvie could have this space to just _speak_ and let herself _feel_.

“I love him.” Sylvie said in a whisper. “More than I’ve ever loved anyone. And it hurts because I can never be that person for him. I can never be the girl he wants to take home and love with every ounce of himself because he can never give himself to me entirely. He can never love me like I love him – nobody _ever_ has. It just – it sucks you know? Not being enough for somebody.” She said as her voice quivered, and the tears pooled in her eyes.

Stella sunk further into the bed. She knew there wasn’t anything she could really say in this moment to make it better, but she had to say something.

“Brett – I don’t know what’s going on in Casey’s head, but I do know that he has _big_ feelings for you and he’s not going to let you slip away from him without a fight.” She told her honestly. Stella saw the way he looked at her. She’d never seen _anybody_ look at _anybody_ the way he looked at Sylvie. It was tender and full of care and compassion and _love_. This moment – it wasn’t the end for them, and Sylvie would soon see that. “And you – you are more than enough Sylvie Brett. I know it might not feel like it right now, but something tells me that very soon, you’re going to know without a shadow of a doubt that that is true.”

Sylvie wiped the tears away from her cheeks before she grabbed onto Stella’s hand.

“I’m not sure what I’d do without you Stella Kidd.”

Stella smiled. “Right back at you Sylvie Brett.” Sylvie had been there for her through countless difficult situations – she was only happy she could somehow return the sentiment in the smallest of ways. 

Stella and Sylvie turned and lay on their backs, staring up at the ceiling. They felt drained of all emotion, but the silence was surprisingly healing.

“You said _when_.” Stella suddenly blurted out.

“What?”

“You said _when_ your become friends with Casey again. Not _if_.”

“He’s one of the best friends I’ve ever had – I’d rather live with a little heartbreak than lose that in my life.” Sylvie confessed quietly. Matt Casey was someone Sylvie wasn’t prepared to lose – no matter what it took to get to a good place again.

Stella smiled to herself. She thought about Matt’s face when he arrived home earlier. He looked so _broken_ over the possibility that he’d damaged his relationship with Sylvie in a way they couldn't come back from. Now hearing Sylvie’s words she knew for certain – Sylvie Brett and Matt Casey could never be without each other.

And she knew they’d realise that soon.


End file.
